In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
