Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
did you just send me my own nude
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
