I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
