Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
