so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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