Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Randomize