Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Randomize
