Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I went to an adult Halloween party last night dressed as Mrs. Doubtfire, but I woke up on a stranger's couch surrounded by sleeping children in karate gi's. And I accidentally flushed my granny wig mid-puke, so if they wake up I'm gonna have to convince them that I'm just a weird older man and not a terrible cross dresser.
How did you come to this point in your life?
Good bartenders.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
