i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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