Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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