Define "chronic" masturbator.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
