Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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