I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Randomize
