So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
