I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Randomize
