It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
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