Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Houston, we have a blender
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
