i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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