When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
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