Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
