O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Randomize
