I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Randomize