Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize
