You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
what is it with giant penises always finding me
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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