This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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