I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Randomize
