No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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