My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
