I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
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