my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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