I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize
