You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
