Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
