I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
