my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
