FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Everyone says I win the strip club
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
