Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
