when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
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