Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Randomize