I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
