I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
I am midnight drunk by noon
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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