5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Randomize
