cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
