Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Randomize
