come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
