That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Randomize
