Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
