I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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