office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
