walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
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