my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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