You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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