i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Green mimosas i think yes
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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