My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Randomize
