Screwed.edu
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
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